Overtalented Soccer Kids

A problem in kids soccer (< 8yrs old) can be if one kid on the team clearly is more skilled and athletic than the rest of the team. We answered the following question from a concerned parent:

Question:

I'm not sure how or if I should address something that is happening on our team. My son is simply overwhelming every other player. They only play 3 on 3 in this age group (AYSO rules, I think) and for whatever reason my son is just way more developed than the other players. He's the third youngest on the team, the 3rd smallest (out of 10), so it isn't a size of age thing. I ask this because I am really concerned about how it might affect him long term, the possible restrictions they might place on him (more on that in a minute) and also how it affects the rest of his team.

The first few weeks he was clearly better than the other kids, but it wasn't yet so exaggerated. He'd score a few goals a week. Maybe 3 out of 4 goals for his team. But each week its gotten worse. Last week he scored 9 goals in a 10-1 game (no score keeping, but all the kids keep score no matter what you say). I'm not going to lie, for the first 3 or four goals I was happy for him. But then it got embarrassing.

After the game, here is what concerned me most:

1) I don't want my son to become a ball hog. In those first few weeks he was passing to teammates, but no one seemed to know what to do with a pass. Last week he just took off with the ball when he got it. He is far and away the fastest on the team, so when he goes with it, there is rarely anyone near.

2) I don't want his teammates to be adversely affected. Two weeks ago we were out of town and when another parent asked a teammate how the game went, he said they couldn't score because my son was in Pittsburgh (we live in LA now)

3) I've been told that when a team complained about another more advanced kid the league asked that that child be forced to play defense and not cross the halfway point. That might sound like a good idea, but I think it's awful. 3 on 3 is on a pretty small field. There is no OFFENSE or DEFENSE. Making a kid stay on his half the field is punishing him for being good. That cannot be good for long term development.

Don't get me wrong, I'm elated that my son likes soccer, gets soccer, and quite frankly is good at soccer. I'm glad he's good (I was never that good). But I want him to have a chance to be great someday and want to make sure we do everything right now to ensure his development in a healthy way.

Our Answer:

First, let me congratulate you on having spent time playing the greatest sport on earth with your son. It has obviously paid off with his skill and physical development. Second, I commend you on your care, both for your son and the team and the thoughts you are putting into this. And third, I detect that you are ambitious about your son's soccer future and as long as you keep his passion going, there is a good chance of success.

I'll address your concerns based on my experiences and philosphy.

The most important thing at this age is for all the kids, including your son to have fun and be motivated to come back. That includes the opposing kids. I can see some discouragement there when faced with a kid continually running through them and putting the ball in the net. So in your situation there are many interested parties:

1. your son
2. yourself
3. your team's players
4. your coach
5. your team's parents
6. the opposing players
7. the opposing coach
8. the opposing parents
9. the league or association you play in

I can tell you right up front that it will be impossible to satisfy all those diverging interest.

My personal prioritization puts the kids first. Everyone else needs to play a supporting role. And frankly, as long as everything is done right by the kids, I don'd care what the adults think.

So let's look at the kids:

At this age, they just want to be out there ( and some don't even want to be) and play with their friends or make new friends. There will be a range of skills and a range of awareness of the sport in general and the competition in specifics.

Generally speaking, the less interference with the process of kids playing, the better. So my advice is to let the team be the team and not to worry about the opposing teams because you can't influence them anyways. Let the kids play and pose no "official" restrictions on the game. They'll all get through the season and most of them won't remember what happened a day after the season end party. Parents and coaches will remember, so what.

The key thing for you to do is to manage your son. You need to keep him interested and motivated for the rest of this season.

So I suggest you devise some ways of managing him through the games. Let him run free and do his thing of scoring goals. Use this as an opportunity to teach him about team play. Tell him that passing to team mates is good for the team mates. It gives them an opportunity to practice receiving the ball. If they lose it, no big deal. Your son can help win it back. It will teach him transition play and defense. Work out a "secret" signal so you can let him know during a game when to switch modes from "all out play" to helping his team mates learn.

That'll be the best you can do in the context of the team.

Now to challenge him and get him exposure to higher skill levels, you can explore two options, if they are available where you live:

sign him up for advanced soccer camps or clinics
find an older age group team and ask the coach if your son can practice with them.
Then do your research for next season. If there are different levels of competitiveness available at this age group, get him into a more competitive team. If that doesn't exist, sign him up for a higher age division. keep the camps going as a "reward".

And do not forget, ask your son what he wants. As long as he agrees with your direction, go ahead. If you push him too hard, he may lose interest. Allow him to recognize and develop his dreams and wishes.